This'll be the death of me

If you won’t sing in the car with me when we drive, we can’t be friends


ripping out someone one’s headphones is the 8th deadly sin

me: ok i’ll study at 8:00

clock: 8:00

me: *pretends i didn’t see*


oh youre a son? name 5 of your parents


once i was babysitting my neighbor’s 6 year old and she asked me why i was so ugly and without thinking i said “i’m you from the future” and she cried for like 30 minutes


hey pull my finger

*finger detaches*

see you in court asshole


are u ever out with ur friends and u can’t stop thinking about a song and all u wanna do is go home and sit in the dark and listen to that song 45 times in a row